You never know unless you try

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Im sick of feeling alone, like I don’t have anybody, people say nice things to me but I constantly find it so hard to believe anything anybody says. I don’t want to keep putting on a fake smile to hide my frown. Its not fair. I shouldn’t have to feel so useless but I do and it’s not fair. I don’t want this feeling to take me over anymore than it already has. I want my parents to look at me and be proud of me, I want the old people back into my life. People keep telling me I’ve changed, but they never tell me if its for the worst or for the best. If there is one thing I could do in the world is give everybody the happiness that they deserve. No one is too say nobody deserves it. I go out of my day to make everybody around me happy before I do anything with myself. I want to smile again, I want to laugh properly again, I don’t want to be the girl everybody ‘knew’. Someone save me, Im lost and don’t know what to do. 

..

I won’t feel the way I did when I was with you again, those butterflies were for no one but you.

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Don’t you ever tell me you cared, don’t you ever, not after last night, never after last night.
I can’t wait till I turn the off button too see who really does.

• when I hear people laughing
• paranoia: They're laughing at you, all of them. They think you look weird. They think you look awful, like shit. They're laughing at you because you're ugly. They pity you. They're glad they are nothing like you at all, you freak.

• Hamish Blake: Now to sing and dance for you, my man slaves One Direction